Link to script.
(These are notes: I have more details in my own files. This film proposal has absolutely nothing to do with “Epic Movie”, from Fox in 2007; titles often duplicate or are similar among movies with nothing in common; check imdb.)
Logline:
An aging lesbian-to-bisexual lawyer, already engaged in an attempt at gay adoption, starts falling in love with a older gay male defendant accused of assisting a teenager boy in hacking into a government site.
Some situations in the defendant’s life illustrate the problems of self-concept for a person who has run away from family responsibility for a whole lifetime in order to take care of his own needs.
Appeal:
The larger picture is that of a leading female character
involved in major freedom building initiatives: rebuilding the
Structured Plot
Analysis
(Introduction “
Setup
Allison turned down
in
Allison-Susannah get foster child Izzy and face social worker
Eric playing ball and getting good but still refusing to be slain in spirit
Tobey advising Bill how to dress for speech
Tobey works for Allison
Bill meeting Allison and Susannah near GZ
Change of Plans
Bill laid off but learns of career audit
Bill follows up by meeting Erich on trip and getting into hacking
Susannah asked to leave military
Sheila teases Tobey towards acting and Izzy bonds to Tobey
Point of no return
Bill gets in cahoots with Erich and then his domain is shut down
Tobey gets hit by car
Bill gets arrested before e-bomb attacks announced publicly
Bill enlists Allison and they share stories
Erich experiences slay in spirit
Final obstacles
Erich on CAPPS list but arranges video conf
Erich hacks to get off CAPPS but can’t defend Bill at trial.
Juror John overhears, hacks himself to find Erich’s friends and this redeems Erich.
Bill helps Allison and Susannah get custody for Izzy by being there so Bill is redeemed, but not publicly.
Erich will film the volcano recovery
Bill held liable but makes “public” amends by paying his dues
Treatment:
The film starts with a reunion at a
The film opening credits show a visual of Bill’s meeting Tobey for dinner some years earlier, and then a quit shot of Allison talking to Susannah by phone, and then Susannah being taken in an ambulance to the hospital from the Pentagon on 9-11. Hook: What will Tobey look like?
The Erich makes a cheap shot about Tobey’s getting married. (The fiancée is not in the scene yet.)
Now the film shifts back to one year earlier, in early spring.
Bill is attending the Saloon in
As he leaves, the bouncer asks him not to come back (even though this is not a leather bar with a dress code for that reason), and a homeless man begs him for a cigarette out on the street; Bill doesn’t smoke. Another friend of his JOHN (31) teases him from behind a Starbucks counter on the Skyway not to wind up in jail.
Next Erich is in his parent’s cabin near
Bill tells the bartender BLAKE (37) at another bar (the Boom) about his incident at the Saloon as he heads for the airport to pick up his mother, while the video bar beams Ricky Martin and typical 21st Century anything goes stuff.
(…) At home, he he fumbles to find
the phone among all kinds of wire near the living room couch when Erich calls (out of the blue) and asks
about his book and legal case.. Erich
comes on the line and teases him
about not being cell-phone savvy. Tobey
has found Erich from the film community to help Allison do seminars on computer
crime law. Susannah knew Frankie when he was in the military, before he
“changed.” Show a brief conversation in uniform about his ‘change.’ – maybe sex.
Frank, Erich and Tobey are playing stickball with neighborhood youths in a tenement lot in NYC. Frankie breaks a window in a fake Green Monster. Frank admits to Erich that he spies for employers on their workers and teases Erich about his own sports abilities. “Swing for the fences.” “We’ll see.”
Bill plays his own choral music at an
Allison, Susannah, Omar and Izzy
attend a reception in which a model of the new WTC is shown. Susan tells
Allison that the Army has asked her to resign her commission and do the same intelligence job at the Pentagon as a civilian. (Hook: Is Susannah really going to get
booted by DADT?)
Bill discusses the personal effects of his involvement in
resisting the military ban. Visual
Bill walks to work on the Skyway, logs in and sees he has a meeting with his boss.
Frankie L’Istesso meets Bill in a
company conference room to give him an external job performance audit. Flashback to an earlier encounter 20+ years before in a gay bar.
Frank hints that bad times are coming and
its not just 9-11 and Enron.. They play games about
Frank’s shiny shins. Hook: Right
wing conspiracy in the workplace?
Erich provides a DV film on teenage hacking at Bryant Lake
Bowl in
Bill gets fired (or laid off) with a handshake ceremony, and acts relieved. Hook: Is this the end of his career?
Bill goes on a weekend trip to celebrate his severance. He
stops in a restaurant where he sees Erich, pretending not to recognize him at first (remembering the
encounter with Frank). Erich teases him about working there if he walks out,
then Bill and he get the conversation going when they see Osama bin Laden on a
video feed (that’s how Bill is supposed to make his fortune, chasing him!)
Bill tips but forgets to pay the bill. He puts his hand to his head
driving hours later as he arrives in
Meanwhile, Allison watches a video of her and Susannah kissing near Ground Zero, taken by Bill right after 9-11, after she asked a security guard to confiscate the camera. There is a flashback to the confiscation, when Bill started crying because his camera was broken. She has never repaid.
Bill’s weekend self-date continues.
He hits the bars on
Hook: Will Bill fall
for Erich “sexually?” Make sure that the moral distinction between “desire” and
actual conduct or acting on desire is clear!
Sunday afternoon, he drives to Erich’s place in
When Bill gets home, he finds his website defaced. (suitcase nukes; he links to some classified sites – about e-bomb attack targets - and saves the material illegally)
Tobey does a head shot
for a mag; Not shaved. Tobey, Susannah and Allison are
flying back from
Bill visits the outplacement company and is referred (again)
to Frankie. Show Bill’s book and mention
his celebrity.
Frankie suggests hiring Bill into a boot camp arrangement and then a new job but Bill would have to give up his “self-promoting” web site.
Bill runs into Tobey at the swimming area of a gym. Tobey’s body has “matured” since they last associated a few years before. Tobey is helping Izzy learn to swim. The film presents a quit montage of their past dinner and ballot access petitioning. Hook: How is Tobey’s bod changing?
Tobey and Sheila are wrestling in bed in Sheila’s condo. Sheila has apologized for working on a file-sharing program for an illegal use.
At an SLDN benefit, Bill meets a reserve officer
Bill goes to a sandlot baseball game where Erich wins the game with a bottom of the Ninth hit; a chum CECIL is a bit of a lazybones and a bit like Bill had been as a boy.
Bill visits Mono lake and sees Tobey jogging there from a
distance. Hook: airport security. He is coded yellow when he boards the
aircraft “on the way.”.
Erich leads an Eagle scout trip at
Allison and Tobey are walking near the site when Tobey gets
hit by a car. Hook: how will Tobey’s
looks be affected?
Bill finds out about Tobey’s accident from Forrest at the LP when filming there.
(quick shot of a film class?)
Bill prays for Tobey at
Erich pays a surprise visit to Bill’s apartment on a Sunday
afternoon and fixes Bill computer, after
it freezes when he tries to access the corrupted website file. (Bill was
watching CNN coverage on pedestrian auto accidents.) Then Erich gives him a
swimming lesson in the pool upstairs, after
mentioning Tobey. Hook: getting into
trouble just fraternizing this way with Erich? (Director’s Cut; other material)
Is he really in trouble over his website?
Omar askes Allison to defend him (again) for the accident.
Izzy teases Tobey in the hospital
Bill finds out that his domain is closed and argues with his
Susannah’s CO announces her military “retirement” and “promotion” into a civilian job in the press room.
BRIAN JZZET(46, Erich’s father) approaches Susannah at the reception and teases her about the gay adoption.
Bill visits Tobey working out in acute care rehab.
Susannah is down in
Bill is getting a massage and watching Smallville when his cell phone rings. He mutters to himself about being a senior home companion as he dials and gets a message on his machine about his eldercare responsibilities. He is determined to go on his convention anyway and make arrangements with others.
Bill flies to Reagan airport and is arrested at the car
rental counter for hacking. Hook: Bill arrested for first time, in jail
for first time
Allison and Susannah are having their home inspection for adoption when news of E-bomb attacks on two cities come across the wires. Hook: “It won’t be so bad”
Bill is in jail and the warden tells him the attacks have knocked out a lot of the Net. He has to sleep with the light on and doesn’t know how to get his lawyer yet.
Erich goes to his father’s Assembly of God service and for
the first time in his life is slain in the spirit. (earlier
(Note: the script
right now shows only his sidekicks (Griffith) falling. If Erich falls he should
somehow look transformed—as if physically a bit larger—by the experience.
[Still under consideration.])
Bill vomits in jail.
Erich is making CD’s of all of his stuff in his cabin to
protect them from e-bombs. Hook: ebombs could come
again
Bill talks the jail clerks into locating Erich by pretending Erich is a lawyer.
FBI agents confiscate the computer from Bill’s
Bill gets Allison as a lawyer and meets with him in jail.
She scolds him about the seriousness of the charges. Tobey reached her from rehab. Tobey
is skittish about Bill’s interest in him.
Allison helps Bill do an IRA withdrawal to make bail. Hook: Bill gives up his savings and might have to beg for money for the first time in his life
Research note: For a
discussion of the legal terms indictment, arraignment, and bail, the Suffolk
County, NY has a good website that explains to the lay person how these
procedures work in most jurisdictions. Visit http://www.co.suffolk.ny.us/da/cjprocedures.htm
Bill has his bail hearing (and enters a plea – arraignment). Prosecutor links to the e-bomb attacks and the damage done (to classified materials).
Erich photographs his chums messing up as they play ball, and then they admit that they are hanging around him to learn how to hack. Erich makes a wisecrack about the nature of radical Islam and “merit.”
Bill is released under house arrest with an ankle bracelet.
Allison meets with Bill in the recreation room of his boyhood home.
Allison recounts her escape on 9-11 after the phone call from Susannah (show stills)
Bill recounts his expulsion from William and Mary, starting with the day-after-Thanksgiving meeting with the Dean, the call to the parents in NC, the actual expulsion. There is a reference to his parental upbringing regarding “telling the truth.” This is shown in flashback in subdued colors. Forever, he has to “tell” about his “psychiatric history” when applying for jobs. Bill recounts his military service, his “second coming,” including an evening in the Baths in 1975. Finally he gets involved with the ban, writes the book, meets Tobey through doing public speaking.
Pre Hook: How both
partners escape 9-11
Pre Hook: Bill
actually expelled from college
(Bill is no longer home alone.)
A prosecutor tells Allison about the
Hook: Will the
government go after its agenda?
Erich meets Tobey at the U of M (p 98) and they watch “Do Ask Do Tell” Erich helps Tobey walk. They talk about Tobey’s modeling and Erich’s teen curiosity. Erich asks Tobey about his suspicion that two of his friends hacked into Bill’s computer (when Erich was at Bill’s apartment). Erich wants to be “good” like pre-Marlena.
Allison asks Erich to fly to NY to help with the case and he is flagged by CAPPS.
Hook: Erich profiled
Bill’s gets kicked out of the house because of the bracelet.
Hook: Bill’s final
rejection by family
Erich prods his friends to go to the Assembly of God slain-in-spirit
Erich meets with Allison by video conference and explains his theory about his friends, that they stole his spyware.
Government agrees to drop criminal case and go civil if Bill will stop writing—govt wants a civil trial to make the case for computer citizenship!
Bill visits Allison’s NYC apartment. Izzy remembers him and tries to bond as a “grandpa.”
Hook: Izzy “hits” on Bill
Bill goes to
Hook: How will Bill
of Rights 2 work out? Use the slide show
The press announces Susannah’s situation.
They voir dire jurors, including an open source software engineer.
Bill tells Allison about his own jury experience.
Prosecutor claims Bill’s site is an attractive nuisance. However, there was apparently a “right wing” conspiracy to have hackers use Bill’s website as a zombie to pass on info for the “attack,” in order to justify right-wing political actions later.
Frankie testifies that his company found indirect links that would interfere with Fema. Why Frankie? Allison could probe this more at cross
ISPCorp (Bill’s
Finally Erich has been allowed to fly by the
(Research note:
Allison tells Omar that Izzy’s
father was prosecuted for a similar auto accident in
Erich demos buffer overflow in court, and admits his contact with Bill but not to planting the stegs. But he did find out that his two “pals” did. One of the boys worked in a computer shop where Bill had his computer repaired. Show this earlier.
One of the jurors finds Erich on the Internet and contacts him. Erich gets the message (Palm? Cell phone?) while doing his chores.
Hook:
Bill and Allison watch a black-and-white movie of the 1961
William and Mary tribunals (from
Erich emails Allison the identity of Bill’s old roommate, Sydney. (Did Erich get a clue from Tobey and the dinner stuff? Did Tobey know from all the head shot stuff? Or did the juror?)
Bill goes to a dance club and DC, and Tobey comes with
Sheila and
Bill defends his DADT ideas in court.
He then talks about an earlier threat from one of the boys before 9-11.
John (the juror) hacks more to do “juror” research (of course it’s illegal) (p 120).
John the juror calls Erich in front of his (John’s) lover. (John finds out that Erich’s playmates did it. P 121)
Hook: Is the adult “John” a better hacker than Erich? How does he find Erich’s accomplices? Maybe he has access to classified info and doesn’t say.
They deliberate and John manipulates the jury.
John
matches the picture from Erich’s video (filesharing)
with a database of employees from a computer store that Bill had used, and
identifies an employee who had planted the steganographic
clue on Bill’s computer, making it an “accomplice.”
The judge orders the website shut down and for Bill to stay away from computers.
Bill is paying his dues working for MacDonalds
when
Connection
to Frankie?
Hook: Can Bill really
“Work”?
Bill volunteers to teach math and computers to a head-start
program when the story about the volcanic mini-eruption (p 129) in
Tobey and Sheila are now married (show). In the epilogue, Frankie interviews Bill for “the Academy” which will restore much of the country after the Volcano.
Hook: Wierdness. Is there a shave-down in the final scene?
Plot lines
This movie interleaves plotlines of five major and three minor characters.
Bill’s life generates a lot of flashbacks because he is older. The pivot is Frankie.
ERICH JZZET, 18, is a computer and film geek who is also
surprisingly good at sports and (whatever his secret homosexuality) a leader in
Eagle Scouts. But he enjoys toying with other people. After getting Bill’s book
(show how) he snoops around to find
people in Bill’s background and who might have been involved in a heckling
attack. Two teenage “friends” (who look envious of his abilities) of his take up the temptation to
contact the terrorists and pass on the info through Bill’s site. Erich
is never blamed, but is somewhat transformed as he becomes suspectible
to “slain in spirit” experiences and will drift away from his manipulative
friendships (show). (Note: Bill’s
site would have had to be hacked once before meeting Erich at
ALLISON KEARNS, 40, is a bisexual female attorney who
strives to have it all. She is on a commission to rebuild the WTC in NYC, a law
professor at
SUSANNAH
TOBEY STRICKLAND, 27, is a law student and protégé of Allison (he does her mock courts) who still indecisively longs for a movie career, and has started with upscale commercials, but is hesitant to take the dive. At the end, he gets married (to Sheila below) although he still likes to hang around the “boys” (show)
Minor characters:
SHEILA DANIELS, 27, Tobey’s girl friend, starts out as a geek herself but slowly becomes more “human” and ethical with her relationship with Tobey.
OMAR TANYI, 50, came from
FRANK L’ISTESSO, 45, knew Bill as a younger gay man but went ex-gay and started a right-wing personnel business that audits the workers of IT companies.
JOSH HARDER, 23, is the jury foreman but, as a “computer man” himself already has some knowledge of L’Istesso’s company. He starts tracking down and finds the contact who led to Bill’s explusion from college, an incident that had started his life story, and transmits it to Erich, after overhearing Erich explain to his father that Erich’s two chums did the real hacking after a dare, but the actual bombers were employees in Frankie’s company, that would benefit from a small terrorist attack.
COREY, GRIFFIN (19 or so) “friends” or acquaintances of Erich who get “hired” behind the scenes to hack Bill’s site and use it to pass steganographic instructions, apparently they are hired by a right wing “corporate” group with an aggressive social control agenda to implement down the road.
Note – italics: add to screenplay
Break dance – shows
what people really enforce
P 9 -- law professor – not logical now –
how would Erich know all this?
How does Tobey react
to Frankie’s line of work? Explain its
dual nature here
Do we need the Sheila
and Tobey scene where she is coding to occur earlier?
Sldn – fix grammar, usage
What does Tobey do
working for Allison? Show visually
Are you worth going to
jail for? “Mr. Burns!” – sandlot ball
Did Omar have two
accidents? Critical
Why does Bill pick
Allison? Is it Erich and Tobey?
Was Allison on Bill’s
website? Why not? Should Allison or even Susannah look first—maybe their kid
finds it—and pass it along?
Would Bill have intervened? How many eldercare stays did he fail to
intervene in?
Would a visit to a
Should Erich’s
“friends” be introduced earlier?
Why is Bill
responsible for e-bomb damage then?
Was the e-bomb a
deliberate exercise for disaster? Why was it done? Suppose the two reported
explosions are in Sparks Nev and Bishop CA, with very
small explosions before in West Yellowstone MT or Wisdom MT and on the CA side of Tahoe. Suppose Erich
has seen one of the bombs on his scouting trip and found some of his own
firmware used.
Does Erich have a
“bigger brother” from LPMN?
How does Sheila tease
Tobey?
Does Bill have any
presence on net after shutdown?
Tobey’s audition –
legs, have to shave, intro of Bill, shadow conv
Hard to use phone in rehab -- needs cell
Allison must “ask:
Erich what Bill did.
Erich “catalyzed” the
attack by his friends when in Bill’s apt – why?
How Bill strategized his own life.
Check Erich’s age at
the LP booth in flashback – note that Matt does this in the other sp
Did Bill provoke confrontation over COPA?
Josh knows Syd also, and emails the movie to Erich. Tobey wouldn’t do
this because he is a law student. Now as a super hacker, he is able to find
Erich and his “chims” first. He worked as a cgi programmer and consultant for
House interview, add
embrace of Bill, remove black woman
Wedding Sheila Tobey outdoors
Omar talks about the fear
of retribution back home, you think you were designed to be god. Allison had
defended him once, and she will have to defend him again, but this time it is
through goodwill from Tobey. He is already scheduled for community service but
did not lose the right to drive. Then if you make a mistake
you aren’t.part of Allah.
Is Sheila in first
scene? Why isn’t Bill?
What will Tobey’s
final job be at the Academy? Would he be their model for their ads or public
relations? Would he be trying to sell the service? After all, actors could make good sales
closers. Maybe his commercials were also aimed at sales. (In the other film he gets a baseball role.)
Tobey could be in Roumania (or
Scenes that can come
out:
McDonough
Bob Arnold
Second juror
Others:
Metaphen and mercury 71?
Add Mikkel on tennis court?
Dialogue
Bill can feel the part
of the woman when seeing love scenes if the male is attractive
Bill believes any man
can learn to enjoy “submission” to a superior man
Gave up music for
second best career
Checklist
Hairy – too much
Buttons – too much
Smallville; Saloon, Cobalt, State, CNN, Nightline
Sprinkler system in
bar scene
Cool, gig, awesome
Structured Plot Analysis
(Introduction “
Setup
Allison turned down
in
Allison-Susannah get foster child Izzy and face social worker
Eric playing ball and getting good but still refusing to be slain in spirit
Tobey advising Bill how to dress for speech
Tobey works for Allison
Bill meeting Allison and Susannah near GZ
Change of Plans
Bill laid off but learns of career audit
Bill follows up by meeting Erich on trip and getting into hacking
Susannah asked to leave military
Sheila teases Tobey towards acting and Izzy bonds to Tobey
Point of no return
Bill gets in cahoots with Erich and then his domain is shut down
Tobey gets hit by car
Bill gets arrested before e-bomb attacks announced publicly
Bill enlists Allison and they share stories
Erich experiences slay in spirit
Final obstacles
Erich on CAPPS list but arranges video conf
Erich hacks to get off CAPPS but can’t defend Bill at trial.
Juror John overhears, hacks himself to find Erich’s friends and this redeems Erich.
Bill helps Allison and Susannah get custody for Izzy by being there so Bill is redeemed, but not publicly.
Erich will film the volcano recovery
Bill held liable but makes “public” amends by paying his dues
Possible additions
Make Allison question Tobey about his ambulance chasing ethics – Tobey did mock court for her at college. Tobey comes back with story about W-M.
Recount 9-11 from Allison – to Tobey, then to Bill—the burn recovery (of lover Sunnah) hard for Bill. Tobey warns Allison not to tease Bill about tribunals.
Bill’s job as a substitute assistant – modest about body, in tandem with tribunals
This is a work of fiction and a “work in progress.”
©Copyright 2002/2004/2005 by